How are we to pursue wives?

How are we, who hold a high view of the soveriegnty of God, to differ in the way we pursue a wife from those that do not? Surely, the fact of His sovereignty effects us, but how? Now, let us also presuppose that we are here speaking only of Christian men, and not the unregenerate who care nothing about the Lord or the glory of His holy name being magnified. To answer this question, I will first describe how Arminian men (which we will call those who do not completely esteem the sovereignty of God) pursue wives and for what purpose. I will then describe what the sovereignty of God assures, yet does not prevent. Then, I will seek to explain how a Christian man should pursue a wife. First, Arminian men generally do not believe that God is in control of all things, working them for His glory and their good, and thus they feel an increased burden or pressure to make finding a wife happen. Their purpose in wanting a wife can be the same, yet their method and confidence in finding one is most times focused on the will of the man to “make it happen”. The great problem with this type of thinking is that it manifests itself in anxious words that do not glorify the Lord as all-knowing and all-powerful. Second, the sovereignty of God assures us that He is working all things for our good (Rom. 8:28) and the glory of His name (Eph. 1:11); and therefore, that He has planned all events before the creation of the world for these two complimentary ends. However, our belief in such a sovereign, powerful God is never revealed to us to prevent us from acting, but as an encouragement to act, knowing that in our willing, He is working. (Phil. 2:12-13) A high view of the sovereignty of God is then never given to prevent action, but to prevent worry and doubt. For if He has planned one woman just for me, then I should feel no pressure from another brother, knowing that no one can steal her away. (Ps. 46:10, Matt. 6:25-34, Jer. 32:27, Ps. 115:3, Ps. 84:10-11, Acts 17:25-26, Phil. 4:6,19, Matt. 6:33). We are commanded to be still and to rest assured that He is God and will be exalted among the nations and in the earth, that He, who provides for the sparow and clothes the lilies, will provide for all of our needs according to His glorious riches, that nothing is too difficult for Him, that He is in the heavens and does whatever He pleases in the earth, that He does not withhold any good thing from those who walk is blameless, that He has determined our appointed times and the boundries of our habitation, and that we therefore may have confidence in prayer with thanksgiving and freedom from anxiety, knowing that He will guard our minds and hearts with the peace of Christ, and that He will not deny Himself in His promises to us. With this in view men of God, pursue!! Thirdly then, it is my belief that Christian men are to pursue a wife for the glory of God in a desire to demonstrate to the world the love of God, by painting a picture of the gospel in marriage. And further, that that they are to do so through the prayerful contemplation of their calling and those that have been placed in their paths that might aid in that calling, always glorifying the sovereignty of God by not worrying or doubting God, but faithfully believing that He who has promised will bring it about. (Luke 1:37) So in one word how do we differ: faith!

Justice is desert and mercy is grace!

If the wages of sin is death (eternal conscious spiritual damnation), then God is just in giving men this or any other less severe consequence, such as suffering or failure, at any time, it truly being what we deserve. However, for God to give us anything less than what we deserve is mercy. So how can this truth practically be seen and applied? Last night, I made one of my first-ever bids on e-bay for a computer monitor. It seemed like a really good deal, until after I bid I realized that I was also liable to pay for shipping, which was one and a half times as much as the monitor itself. Needless to say, I was a bit frustrated with my irresponsibility, while still trying to take heart in His promise of working all things for good. Then it hit me! God should make me pay for this now overpriced monitor as a consequence for making an such an impatient, undependent decision. I deserved to pay and knew it. It was then I began to pray for mercy that God would perhaps move the heart of another to outbid me. God should have made me pay, but behold delighted to show mercy! I've never been so grateful to loose something. Yet the mercy seemed all the sweeter in that I fully realized my desert of justice in the form of an exorbitant payment. What truth did this teach? Every difficulty or trial in life is both justice and mercy. It is justice in that we deserve to pay for our continual unfaithfulness to the commands of God to delight in obeying Him. Yet it is mercy in that we don't deserve for God to do one good thing for us, much less do we deserve the blessing of being able to live through a trial or injustice and be told that it is being worked for our eternal good and God's eternal glory. In this light then, even having to pay would have been mercy in that it also would have been worked for my good and His glory. So when something seemingly unfair happens to you, see it as justice and mercy, and may it be a reminder of the ultimate act of mixed justice and mercy in the cross of Christ. Lord help me delight to obey, to see justice as desert and mercy, and to see mercy as amazing grace! Help us all to "give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for us." (1 Thes. 5:18)